Dyin' To Be Jesus
I saw you in the hospital
the doctor shook his head
He says a fisherman under the bridge tonight
saw your jump
and rescued you
Your sad eye avoids mine
as I open your note
of bleeding
blue
words
When I was young it seemed to me
That being Christ was the ultimate thing to be
The church and society held it decree
Though no one ever talked about it realistically
Anyone could be Christ, but like Mary
Girls should strive for sexless conception
Only one Christ is supposed to come
Not everybody could be it but why not me
I heard that this Christ would be
Rejected by his own family
I then set out on a policy of drugs and loud music
Parental view, black sheep tragedy
'Cause I'm dyin' to be Jesus
Christ suffered under society's sins
So must I if I am to be him
Hospitals and their drugs didn't set me straight
It was leaving home, that house of hate
Every decision I would now make
Would be the one I imagined Christ would take
Eventually with heart pure and true
God would tell his son what to do
'Cause I'm dyin' to be Jesus
I'm dyin' to be Jesus
I travelled the world spreading love and honesty
Just like Christ I had believers too
Deception and police and Roman ties
Religion and church, a crock of lies
I was convinced that I was he
Except God hadn't come and converted me
I assumed earned physical immortality
Until age lines on my face, shocking reality
A lash of God's whip, why won't he talk to me
A lash of his whip, lust thoughts invading me
With each lapse of not following a Christ decision
Thoughts of the Devil, creating confusion
If I am the real Christ then death is my altar
My name is immortal as I will be in heaven
I want to prove it for everyone to see
But Christ with an ego? I cannot be he
Christ's crucifixion denied the Devil his power over death
Except it's me killing me, am I the Antichrist?
In sin and in doubt and we're both 33
This bridge is my saviour, PLEASE GOD SAVE ME
Dying to be Jesus
Dying to be Jesus
Dying to be Jesus
Dying to be Jesus
You look up at me
silently
hair in dried tangles
The doctor returns and informs me
You're the third case like this
this month
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